How to Save a Life
by ambrosesaysnope
Summary: "Getting up, he headed to his car, wondering if he could have saved her life." CodyRhodesxOC. oneshot.


Disclaimer: I only own Joey, the doctor, and Jacob.

A/N: Another one shot! Flashbacks are italicized. Enjoy! Read & review!

* * *

><p>"<em>Honey, I'm home!" Cody greeted, thrusting the door open.<em>

_He was greeted with nothing but silence and he didn't like that. Usually, Joey was there to greet him. A big smile that reached up to her eyes when she saw him. Not today. Today, there was no sign of her and that alarmed him. Had something happened to her? It was rare for her not to be home when he was coming back from a short tour._

"_Joey!" He called, walking through the house. "Joanna, baby, I'm home!"_

_Cody was ready to grab his phone and call her when he heard faint crying. Scared now, he ran ran down the hall, following the crying all the way to the master bathroom. With little to no thought, he barged in and found her crying on the floor. Falling to his knees next to her, Cody quickly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her as close as possible._

"_Shh, stop crying, baby. I'm here." His voice was shaky with panic. "I'm not going anywhere. Please, just relax."_

_Joey felt herself calm down when his voice reached her ears, but the tears however, did not subside. This just made her even happier. Cody was home just in time to hear her good news. Though, she was hoping he wouldn't find her like this. It was her plan to tell him in a sweeter setting, not in the middle of the bathroom._

"_These aren't tears of sadness, babe." The brunette pulled away from him. "They're tears of joy."_

"_Come again." He was perplexed. "You're crying gleefully in the bathroom because why?"_

_A soft smile played at her pale pink lips. Her green eyes were twinkling with mischief as she rose to her feet and walked towards the counter. All the while, Joey could feel Cody's eyes following her every move as she picked up what she was looking for. _

"_Because of this." Joey stuck her hand out to him._

_He rose his eyebrow in curiosity as he gently took the item out of her hand. It took him a few seconds to register what she had given him, but when it clicked, the item fell from his hand and hit the floor with a small clatter. Rising to his feet, he picked her up and spun her around before kissing her passionately. _

"_How-when did this happen?" Cody asked breathlessly. _

_With a devilish smirk, she pressed her forehead to his, her arms wrapping around his neck. "I think it happened in the hammock in the backyard."_

"_Mm, under the stars?" He wondered, his arms locking around her waist._

"_That would be the night."_

_So many thoughts ran through his head as he held Joey in his arms. She had given him so much over the last couple of years. Words couldn't describe how much he loved her._

"_Marry me?" Cody blurted out. "Let's get married right now. Let me give you something now."_

_Joey gazed into his eyes stunned that he would make such an impulsive decision. Sure, they've talked about marriage over the last couple of years, but she didn't think he would do it like this or that soon even._

"_Let's be a family, sweetie. Let me give you and the baby my last name." He smiled. "We love each other, let's just up and do it."_

"_Yes." Joey smiled back at him. "Let's have everything together! Marriage, love, happiness, and a family. These are things we can only give to each other."_

"_Let's get going then." Cody laced his hand with hers, pulling her out of the bathroom._

He looked down at the ring on his left finger. It represented everything that he and Joey had gone through together. Before and after they got married. Things were great, but there were always the times when things got hard. Somehow they got through it all and it made them stronger. Just one thing they couldn't get passed was their downfall and it would hurt Cody until the day he died.

"Son, you should go eat something." His father suggested. "Its important for you to keep your strength up."

Cody looked over at his father with lifeless eyes. Nothing mattered anymore. There wasn't any use in pretending to be fine when he wasn't. All meaning in his life was lost and nothing could _ever _bring it back.

"_Cody, something doesn't feel right." Joey said to him one night. "I've been having such sharp pains in my stomach all day long."_

_Pausing his video game, he looked over at the doorway to see her standing the doorway. She looked pale and sick. Her eyes were completely dark underneath. Her hands clutched to her stomach as another wave of pain shot through her. The image terrified him so much that he went to her, grabbing her just before she could buckle to the ground._

"_I'm taking you to the hospital."_

_Cody knew she blacked out before he could even finish his sentence and that terrified him. Wasting no time, he rushed to the hospital, hoping and praying that Joey and the baby were fine._

"_I'm sorry Mr. Rhodes, we did everything we could, but we lost the baby."_

_No, there had to be some mistake. Just two weeks ago they had an appointment with the doctor and everything checked out fine. They were even told they were going to have a son. Jacob Hunter Rhodes was gone before they had the chance to hold him._

"_That can't be. We just saw you a couple of weeks ago. Everything was fine!" Cody exclaimed, his eyes blazing with fury. "Nobody detected a damn thing!"_

"_I'm sorry. Miscarriages happen sometimes." The doctor explained. "They can go undetected in cases such as this one."_

"_She was fine!"_

"_She was bleeding when she came in. It took us quite some time to get her to stop bleeding. You're lucky she's still alive."_

"_Will we be able to still have kids?" Cody wondered tearfully. _

"_You will be able to." He assured him. "Joanna just miscarried and its going to take her some time to heal. This isn't something she can snap out of."_

_Cody nodded his head. "Does she know?"_

"_I just broke the news to her. Go on and be with her. At a time like this she'll need you more than ever."_

His eyes had adjusted so well to the darkness that when the lights were flicked on, he groaned in frustration. Didn't anyone know not to bother him? Cody didn't want to see or speak to anyone. All he wanted was to be left alone with his thoughts. It was the best thing possible.

"Get up and start getting ready." Dusty whispered, looking at his son. "Are you holding up okay, son?"

"Does it look like I'm okay, Dad?" He snapped. "I've been up for three days straight. I don't want to see or speak to anyone. I just want to be alone. No one seems to understand that!"

"I know that you're going through-"

"A hard time?" Cody shouted, sitting up, his eyes locking on his father. "Nobody gets what I am going through. Don't you dare stand there and pretend to know what I'm feeling."

Dusty said nothing to his son, he only stared at him. He knew it was a matter of time before Cody lost all control of his emotions. But, he didn't think it would until much later on.

"I'm sorry, son." He finally whispered. "Start getting ready. We have a long day ahead of us."

"I have a long day." Cody corrected him as he got out of bed.

_Cody knew that she was trying to stay together for his sake, but she didn't have to. He wanted to hear her scream or shout. Show any type of emotion. But, she hasn't shown any. Not since they lost the baby. Nothing had been the same since then._

"_Come on, Joey, let's go out and sit in the backyard." Cody suggested. "It'll be like old times."_

"_I don't want to." She whispered. "I can't be out there."_

_He knew it pained her to go out there, but they had to move on. Yes, it pained him to go on with their lives, but that was all they could do. They would always have the memory of Jacob being on the way and nothing would ever change that. He wasn't a figment of their imaginations. No matter what they did, they wouldn't forget him. He would always be apart of their lives. _

"_Please."_

"_I don't want to, Cody!" Joey exclaimed, her eyes filling with tears. "Don't you understand that I can't go on yet?"_

_That was it! He had enough of her being like this. Moving on was hard, but she had to. If she didn't go forward, she wouldn't always be sad, hurt, and upset. They both would be._

"_That's it!" Cody exclaimed, slamming his hands on the marble counter. "I know this is hard on you! Its hard on me too, Joey! But, we can't stay like this. Jacob will be in our lives forever. Nothing is ever going to change that."_

"_I was supposed to be a mother! No amount of time or other children will change that!" Joey cried, backing away from him. "I can't believe you're even talking to me like this."_

"_I was supposed to be a father!" He retorted. "I still am a father and you're still a mother! My-our-son is gone, but never forgotten! We're always going to love him. He will always be with us in our hearts. But, Joey, baby, we can't stay like this forever. Misery cannot consume our lives."_

"_First you yell at me because our son is dead and now you're miserable?" Joey cried, sliding down the wall and onto the floor. "I'm sorry for all of this Cody. I know I've hurt you and our marriage. I'll always blame myself for this. This is my fault that he's gone. I couldn't carry to full term."_

_He crawled over to her, wrapping his arms around her. "I don't blame you. We miscarried, that's horrible, but we can always try again. Jacob isn't going to go away, nor do I want him to. We'll always love him, Joey. But, going forward with our lives doesn't mean we're going to leave him behind."_

"_I can't."_

"_Yes, you can." Cody pushed her. "We both can. We are going to make it through this together. I'm not going anywhere, baby. The rings that we're wearing means we'll be together forever. Through thick and thin. I'm never going to leave your side. I love you."_

"_No, you don't."_

_Her words had just broken his heart. How could Joey think he didn't love her? It was next to impossible for him to love her._

"_Don't you ever say that again!"_

"_Its true." Joey cried, running a hand through her hair. "You haven't touched me in months."_

_It was hard for him to keep his tears back. "I know I've been talking about moving on, but believe me, its hard for me too. I feel like it was my fault you had lost the baby and I was afraid that if we got pregnant again, then the same thing would happen. I couldn't handle it happening once, but for it to happen a second time, I would lose my mind. But, now, after all this time that has gone on. All the vacations and buying things for you, I know that isn't moving on for either one of us. The fights have made us worse and I feel like I'm losing you. I don't want that to happen. I won't let it happen. Together, even though its hard, we've got to move on. Please, I know we love each other too much than to stay in this one place forever."_

"_Its my fault you felt that way, Cody."_

"_Don't you see it? This isn't anybody's fault!" He exclaimed. _

_Joey watched as he rose to his feet and started pacing the room. In the blink of an eye, he had her in his arms. His lips pressed to hers._

"_Cody, what are you doing?"_

"_Showing you that I still love you, that I'll always love you."_

_The sheets wrapped around them, Joey pushed herself in Cody's embrace. A small smile playing at her lips. He hadn't missed a beat with her. Cody did still love her. He wasn't angry with her anymore._

"_I'm sorry, baby." She murmured, running her fingertips against his stomach. "I'm so sorry for the way I've been acting."_

"_I love you, honey." Cody looked down at her, his fingers playing with her hair. "Don't ever doubt for one second that I don't. Please. No matter what happens, I'll always love you."_

"_I love you too."_

_Two days later, he was back on the road. Unbeknownst to him, the last time he would ever see her again._

Dusty and Dustin had to hold him up as the coffin was being lowered into the ground. His cries could be heard as the priest said his final prayer over he grave.

"I'm sorry, Cody." Dustin said, holding him tightly. "We all know you love her, but she's in a better place right now."

"Better place my ass, Dustin!" Cody pushed them away from him. "She shouldn't be in there right now. This should have happened when we were old and gray. Our children should be burying me and her. Not me burying her!"

Everyone watched as Cody lost every ounce of sanity he had left dissolve. His words getting sharper with his each breath. His tears showing even more pain than ever. The love for Joey that he had burning even stronger for her. Despite that she left him way too early.

"No one will ever know what I'm going through! My wife is gone forever." He cried falling on his knees near her grave. "She's never coming back. I'm never going to hold her or kiss her again. Every night when I go to sleep she won't be there next to me. I won't ever hear her singing as she makes breakfast again. The scent of her shampoo will never fill my nostrils again. The one woman I will ever love has left me and I couldn't even stop it. Joey didn't give me a chance to stop her. I wish I hadn't gone back on the road! If I hadn't, then she would be with me right now! We could blissfully be married again with another baby on the way. Why would she do this to herself? To me?"

Those surrounding him were in tears as they tried to calm him down. They knew he was going through a tough time, but he was acting irrationally. Though nobody would say it out loud. It was mostly because they would have been acting the same way.

"Joey, come back to me!" He cried, just before blacking out.

Hours later, Cody woke up to find that he was in their room. At first, he thought it was he was having a bad nightmare, but it was when he realized that he was still in his funeral clothes that Joey's death was real. She really was gone forever. Just like before and everyday after this, he was going to be in pain. Every ounce of his being was buried with her that day and he knew he would get that back when he saw her again.

"Honey, its great to see you awake." His mother weakly smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a truck." He muttered, holding his head in his hands. "Was there something you needed?"

Melanie nodded her head as she sat on the bed next to her son. With a shaky hand, she produced an envelope from her sweater pocket and handed it to him.

"They said they found it with her." She whispered. "Joey had written specific instructions on there for it to be given to you after her burial."

For the longest time after his mother left, he stared at the white envelope in his lap. He could see the little bit of blood spatter on the corner and it made him cry. How could she have been so selfish to leave him like that? Things with them were fine when he left her. He would never understand why she killed herself.

"Maybe this will explain." He said, tearing open the letter.

_Dearest Cody,_

_I know you will never forgive me for this. Even in my afterlife, I know won't even be able to forgive myself. But, I had to do this. Its a selfish choice and a hard one, but I can't go on like I thought I could. Like you thought we could. _

_For days after you left, I thought I could. At one point I even believed it. The idea of putting the miscarriage behind us sounded great. Going back to the way we were was wonderful. I wish we could have made it to that point. But, we can't. Earlier today, I was walking through the park and everywhere I looked there were happy families. It made me cry that we would never get to have that. Not, because of you. But, because of me. Cody, you were so strong willed and I loved that, but I would have held you back. I couldn't stand the thought of it._

_Please, don't blame yourself. Don't cry for me because I don't deserve to be cried over. Don't love me anymore because I don't deserve to be loved. More importantly, please move on from me. You deserve to be happy and to be with someone who can give you all that you want; love, happiness, and a family._

_I'm sorry for this, Cody. This is such a cowardly, selfish thing to do, but there isn't another way out. _

_I love you, Cody. Don't ever forget. But don't forget to move on as well._

_Love,_

_Joey_

About an hour after reading Joey's final words, he snuck out the house and went to the cemetery. He sat down at the foot of her freshly dug grave. His eyes scanning over the temporary grave marker; _Joanna Marie Rhodes, 1985-2011._

"I miss you, Joey." He whispered, resting his chin on his fists. "You hurt me more than I thought anyone ever could, but that won't stop me from loving you. I will until the day I die. It seems as though you forgot that. Even in death I hope you remember that. For the rest of my life I will always be angry and hurt for what you've done, but at the same time thankful for what you have given me. You think that by doing this to yourself that you've gotten rid of me, but you haven't. Truthfully, you're always going to be in my heart and show no signs of ever leaving. Wherever I go, you and Jacob are with me. You guys are my angels. I love you."

Getting up, he headed to his car, wondering if he could have saved her life.

* * *

><p>AN: What did you think?


End file.
